Related to giving and receiving, an interesting part of the Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus book, is the question of what we should give to please our partner.

The author says that women like to receive gifts of love frequently and that "no matter how big or small a gift of love is, it scores one point; each gift has equal value". Men often don't understand that and focus their energies into big gifts.

Among the many things that can score points with a woman the author lists:

  • Resist the temptation to solve her problems - empathize instead.
  • Validate her feelings when she is upset.
  • Whenever her feelings have been hurt, give her some empathy and tell her "I am sorry you feel hurt." Then be silent; let her feel your understanding of her hurt. Don't offer solutions or explanations why her hurt is not your fault.
  • Call her from work to ask how she is or to share something exciting or to tell her "I love you".
  • Display affection in public.
  • Pay more attention to her than to others in public.
  • Surprise her with a love note or poem.
  • When listening to her talk, use eye contact.

Then the author says:

"It's magic when a man does little things for his woman. It keeps her love tank full and the score even. When the score is even, or almost even, a woman knows she is loved, which makes her more trusting and loving in return. When a woman knows she's loved, she can love without resentment."

"Doing little things for a woman is also healing for a man. In fact, those little things will tend to heal his resentments as well as hers. He begins to feel powerful and effective because she's getting the care she needs. Both are then fullfilled."